1.05

a posy of squares that look like your face

and a pair of hips swaying like a sleeping song

crooning about two muddy boots at the front door

and a broken watch that still chills my wrist

I'm looking and I want to be friends

and I swear you are salt in my teeth

the blinds in this room will be opened

five more times by me until I'm gone

trying to sleep ten more times until I'm home

1.04

watching a dying bee knock itself against the glass 

on the inside of a see through cup that you inflicted

you have no right to feel sorrow about carving an

end to a flash of light. 

I really, honestly did want to wake up today.
sorry,

1.03

squinting, it comes down to say hello
exactly the right tone today, my car parts
hum

time solid
decisions
trying to find kindness reaching out to me
from the snow

the tighter my clothes, the closer they keep me
soothing big quakes
big pushes

hot eyelids I don't care about
anyone around me
and they don't care
about me

fuzzy eyebrows and how I finally tamed them
and I felt bad about it
and curled up

but didn't unclench and still haven't
and I know that I will in time
but for right now I know that the wind is sick
of my howling

collect

1.

2. 

   

3.    

4.

      

1.02

stretch your neck up so the back of your head

for you

touches the tip, of your spine, the top, of your tree

I would

let your braid fall DNA, lose your hairtie, untangle

walk all

still wet from the shower that I pretended you were in

the way

the sunrise turning your kisses real, water in the light

from my house to canada.

1.01

 when I can sleep, I sleep for years and weightlessly kiss them under both earlobes, balancing some sparkly want to spread down to both big toes. a water nymph sinking to the surface to break ground to breathe next to the sun, kicking us hard when we tell her she's just a little bit of foam, something vulgar. when you pull at me like a child on a hilltop in a storm that knows what lightning will do, will you burn mazes into my lazy marrow when you grab my wrists and pin them to the wall? will you shut my mouth with your chest when I smile and savor what pushes me, savor the will to push back. when even my scape wills me to be quiet, what part of the world am I allowed to let the air from you, plunge out and hit the note it wants to find in my neck? I'm alone wondering if you have seen me with your eyes closed, if you get dizzy with the piece of me in your temple. I feel like I'm there, right above your eyebrows, grabbing your peachiest parts in a sunny half dream. 

1.00

a depth and a shadow, cracks and the color berry, the color honey

your nose whistling as you sleep, whistling in the car when my cd player scrapes

I have that sequence in my head, ebbs in circles

the thought of you and you and you is so stuck and looped

and all of these dreams have absorbed an inch into my skin

you're the melting layer on me of the first snow in november

you make me angry and you last forever

I want to move out of western new york, I've been looking someplace east

I want to rip my clothes off and feel it

until green sprouts sing a blazing choral audition

trying out to be what you never where, a pipe dream for in dependancy

I'm laying on some faraway wood floor on the fourth story

letting my neck fall in circles over a tune that used to hurt me.

99

a spiral looks in on itself, diving in
again and again on the waves of black,
wishing to be free, but craving to be held
by delicacy of the comfortable ladder.
in spite, we chose sanity over grace
in the grasps of the chief of the nightfall,
so blooded is the nightfall, breathing out
the specks on tired eyes about to eat
the famous morning clouds, sticky on
their chubby fingers with the spin't sugar.
falling down the well of yourself is
meant to get easier with the minutes as
you live in them, smile at them to show
that you care and notice their bell chime,
I've heard it gets smaller to swallow
those snakes in your middle,
we take the pearls of the years and set
them between facing mirrors, so that
a tiny morsel of our candy thunderhead
echo in some far away parallel loud
enough so we can notice it in the
breath of ourselves, surrendered to the
carven hills and valleys, replicating
a sweetness so ripe that it soaks through
all memory of an opposite.

98

I'm jealous of all things. the future and the past,

the places in paintings. the pillowcase on your favorite.

97

2:14 am
on my aunt's deck

that juts out from the top of her tiny one-person, acid-green kitchen
I am sitting, with my knees up, on the sun lounger parallel to the inlet
that parts the city I am most in love with in half, it blushes, it winks at me
its yellow heartbeat, its moaning siren, its starry reflection
my skin tells me blue, my chin points up
between me and the moon, black cotton walking some old track
on the empty parts I can feel the water in me, tide
crashing into the shores of my bones,
like a million angry prisoners in a cell that no one watches
I night-dream about if I were a foot traveler,
traversing the world when she was innocent,
coming onto such a beautiful sight... an alien glow
concentrated in the center, growing outwards
like a starburst or a flower, or a nerve cell or a feeling
and a low rumble of life vibrating the edges
it smells like home and wildness and autumn as a baby.
I night-dream a doe, looking at me straight in the eye, strong-willed
is climbing up the balcony's blue wooden steps,
never breaking gaze, slow and powerful,
I open the screen door for her without question and
she walks in, she doesn't look around.
cautious, a thing made of beauty,
in this funny old house.
she climbs the stairs, chin pointed at the slanted ceiling,
places her hooves gently on the carpet as she floats down the hall,
she curls up in my bed.
I curl around her.
she's gone when I wake up.