the only thing that ever broke my heart was the day I realized I'd forgotten what you sounded like on the phone. they cut your chords, you fell like leaves. if you can't talk, then at least reach for me with those fingers that were always too beautiful. brush my hair. stop when I cry. playing cards, cheating. winning. every twist in my stomach remembers you with a sadness so thick that I can't see out of the car window and I have no clue where we're going from here. please just come down or pull me up with you.