i keep imagining a quiet moment away from everything else involved where i can just hug you around the waist like i'm four years old and try to push uncomplicated love out from every piece that touches you so that you understand that i never meant to hurt you and i know it has nothing to do with me. i want to be a blanket wrapped around your shoulders to keep you safe and warm and i do not want to confuse you. i know that's not how it works. i know that anger bubbles up inside of you when you remember me. and anger fills up my hands when i remember you, but i'm sitting on them and breathing in and hoping you'll forgive me for anything you think i did. there are people who want to take care of you. i am one of them. you can curl up and be soft in a bad world. i love you.